Clarity is a word that speaks for itself, or at least it doesn’t appear to need much explanation. So then how do you know what it is to have clarity in your life, and how does it feel? Personally, I think having clarity in your life is to have a sense of confidence that comes from your ability to make decisions, because you’re clear about what is important to you. Clarity based on values is like a rudder to a boat-without it you would get blown all over the place, to wherever the next whim takes you. These boats without rudders are the people you see doing one thing this minute, and doing another thing the next, without the direction of knowing where they’re going. They’re not certain about what they want and so they get pushed around by the winds of life. When people have a strong sense of what matters to them, it acts as a rudder and provides clarity, and it’s this clarity that gives direction-helping the boat to move through water. However, and like most things, finding clarity is a process that relies on you first knowing who you are before you can possibly know what it is that you value. That means discovering who you really are without the outside influence of who you’ve been told you are. It’s about having the clarity of who you are in this world, aside from what your past experiences have taught you.
One thing that EAP participants consistently say, is that they come away with is a greater sense of clarity about who they are. The program provides an opportunity for people to see who they are from their programming and conditioning, gaining a clearer understanding of why they are the way they are and what is important to them. From that they are able to, with confidence, make choices about how to move forward. People get to really witness (become aware of) who they are; who am I without the programming of my family? Who am I without who my parents told me who I was? Who am I without society defining who I am? Knowing your authentic self cannot come from outside sources; it has to come from the inside. So what we do in EAP is, we invite people to step outside of the story of who they are, and in that we say:
‘I have a story but I am not my story, I am more than that. I have thoughts but I am not my thoughts, I am more than that. I have feelings, but I am not my feelings, I am more than that.’
There is a part of us that can witness our thoughts, feelings and behaviours, that can recognise they are there, and yet we can observe them and disassociate ourselves from them at the same time. We identify that part, but also know that we’re greater than that.